Well, hi there! It’s officially the end of December, a.k.a. the time every year that I revive my blog from the dead to ramble about music I like for a little bit.
It’s funny—I was just looking back at my year-end playlist from 2019 and realized that I ended it with “What’s Up Danger”, which…yeah. Yeah, 2020 contained a higher-than-usual level of actual, physical danger.
It’s certainly been a year. Here’s the music that got me through it. You can listen on Spotify and see below for commentary on some of my favourite tracks—and don’t worry, I’ve done my best to make sure this year’s playlist doesn’t accidentally curse 2021 for all of us.
chinatown - Bleachers ft. Bruce Springsteen
After hearing the first 15 seconds of this song, I knew it was going to be an all-time favourite. It has all the elements of my other favourite Bleachers song, “Let’s Get Married”, except with more synths and also Bruce Springsteen. When he comes in during the second chorus? Inject that directly into my veins forever, please and thank you.
Favourite lyrics: “I wanna run / I wanna run / I love to chase every feeling / ‘cause I wanna find tomorrow with you, baby”
Want You In My Room - Carly Rae Jepsen
You will probably not be surprised to know that I read Reddit’s pop music forum, r/popheads, on a regular basis. When Dedicated came out last year, everyone on the site immediately declared “Want You In My Room” a standout. I didn’t understand the hype until this fall, when I revisited it on a whim and realized that it might be one of Carly’s best songs. “Want You In My Room” is catchy and flirty and fun, and it’s put a bounce in my step during dozens of dog walks to date. Once we’re allowed to leave the house again, I suspect it’ll also become my go-to “getting ready to go out” song.
‘tis the damn season - Taylor Swift
I can’t believe we got two Taylor albums this year. Now that both of them have been out for a little bit, I think I can say that I prefer evermore over folklore by the smallest of margins. Taylor’s evocative storytelling skills are on full display in “‘tis the damn season,” and I’ve been listening on repeat since the album dropped.
And just for fun, here are some more of my favourite tracks off evermore:
“gold rush” - This reminds me of Lorde’s “Green Light” in the best possible way. Love the ethereal intro, the pacing of the lyrics (“I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘til the bone crush”!!!), and also the central metaphor.
“no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)” - Country Taylor is back with a vengeance (because murder, get it?). I do wish there was a bit more HAIM on this track but it’s SO FUN and basically perfect otherwise.
“tolerate it” - Ouch.
“marjorie” - A genuinely moving tribute to Taylor’s late grandmother. This one feels especially appropriate for 2020, since we’re coming out of a year filled with so much grief.
this is me trying - Taylor Swift
“I just wanted you to know / that this is me trying / at least I’m trying” is the one lyric that encapsulates this entire year for me. We’re all just out here doing our best. I put this one on when I need to remind myself of that.
And just for fun, more of my favourite tracks off folklore:
“illicit affairs” - According to Spotify, this was my most-played track of 2020. I cannot wait to scream “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby / look at this godforsaken mess that you made me” at a concert someday.
“august” - Also on the list of lyrics I can’t wait to scream at a concert someday: “MEET ME BEHIND THE MALL”
“exile (ft. Bon Iver)” - As I have expressed many times before, I love a good breakup song. “exile” is a good, good breakup song.
What was I just saying about loving a good breakup song? These lyrics bowled me over the first time I heard them and have continued to break my heart every time I’ve heard them since. And the way the song crescendos into the last chorus? Perfection.
Favourite lyrics: “all I do is get over you / and I’m still so bad at it / we outgrew the love we knew / but I still wish I had it”
I was first introduced to “Rome” through this dance video, which still makes me cry on the regular. There’s this beautiful throughline of nostalgia through the song, the sense of remembering a relationship that had to end for one reason or another but that you’re grateful existed nonetheless.
Favourite lyrics: “remember that first laugh? / all it changed once I had that / like a hurricane, but I don’t care where I land / so dance carefree / I hope it’s easier knowing me / now your soul is yours, but I’ll help it move if I can”
As much as I love a good breakup song, I also love a good love song. Lizzy McAlpine was one of my favourite musical discoveries this year, and she managed to make “Apple Pie” sound exactly like its namesake—homey and cozy and sweet. For more gorgeous harmonies and smart writing, I highly recommend her debut album Give Me a Minute.
I Know the End - Phoebe Bridgers
2020 was the year that I finally checked out Phoebe Bridgers, and I’m so glad I did. I wanted to end this playlist with one of her songs, but had trouble figuring out which one it should be.
For a while, I was deciding between her cover of “If We Make it Through December” and her cover of “It’ll All Work Out” because they seemed thematically appropriate. Then I thought maybe I could end on “Chinese Satellite”, as a tribute to my favourite track off Punisher.
But I think I knew all along that it had to be “I Know the End.”
In a recent Genius interview, Phoebe said this song is about “being at peace with the end of the world…I don’t mean in an apathetic way, I just mean, instead of waking up every day during the apocalypse—like right now—and being heartbroken, you’re just kind of like, ‘Okay, what can I do today?’”
I struggled with exactly that for much of 2020. Faced with the systemic inequities that COVID-19 exposed, the failings of capitalism, and horrific acts of racism and police brutality in Canada and the States—all things that I felt like I had no control over and no power to change—I woke up heartbroken and went to bed heartbroken, and just kind of existed in that state for months.
Lately, I’ve been trying to wake up and ask myself, “What can I do today?” How can I care for the people around me so that they are less heartbroken by the world? How can I use my privilege to fight for justice in the spaces I’m in?
I wouldn’t call “I Know the End” a particularly encouraging song, but for me it’s a reminder that we have been living in an apocalypse for a long time—and despite that, there are still things I can do today, and tomorrow, and the day after.
Plus, it just feels right to close out the year with a long, cathartic scream. All together, now: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Much better. And with that, goodbye and good riddance, 2020.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I’ll see you in 2021, friends. May the new year be kinder to all of us.
